self para.

we don’t talk anymore.

they don’t talk anymore. jimin, and the person he whole-heartedly thought was the love of his life. they had plans to move. plans to eventually ditch the world and leave. plans to grow old together. they’ve committed a sin, but at least they did it together. 

we don’t talk anymore like we used to do.

it’s midnight. he balls his fists in his pockets, taking a casual stroll down one of the quieter streets in gangnam. he’s been doing that lately - he doesn’t always appreciate company. he’s numb, like always, but tonight was the night his cover with jungkook was released. he’d come outside for a small walk with only the leader knowing - he hopes the latter would cover for him if anyone asks. he keeps his earbuds in, the cover on repeat. 

he doesn’t really know what he’s feeling. betrayal? sadness? guilt? or regret? they recorded the song two months ago. he remembers it like it was yesterday. jimin constantly receiving encouragement and compliments, all the you’re doing greats and the you sound beautifuls got into his head. all the little touches that all helped to boost his confidence. he remembers them. he was able to open up his voice - in a way he probably wouldn’t be able to without these encouragements by this very person. it was just the two of them, in what jungkook would call his.. golden closet. it wasn’t golden - it was just a mess, a bunk bed, stereos, a computer and wires everywhere, but it was one of jimin’s favourite places. 

i just hope you’re lying next to somebody, who knows how to love you like me. there must be a good reason that you’re gone.

it was always weird for jimin to listen to his own voice. it didn’t make sense to him. 

every now and then i think you might want me to come show up at your door, but i’m just too afraid that i’ll be wrong.

that’s not it. he’s almost certain the boy wanted nothing to do with him. he’s living well. he’s with his friends now. they’re so happy together. he wants nothing to do with me now. jimin never talked to anyone properly about his feelings regarding this break up, but he’s been so tired ever since the moment he said the words. he was fuming. he remembers it. i won’t believe anything you fucking say to me in the future. he said it, and he left. he doesn’t remember the reason why, and he asks himself everyday - but it’s a fact now and he can’t change it. 

we don’t love anymore.

he sees this boy everyday, but as soon as the camera’s off they’re off to minding their own business. he hates it. 

he’ll get over it. he did it once before. he’ll do it again.